Psychological Assessment and Treatment of Children and Adolescents

Healthy Relationships

Published on: October 25, 2015  

Healthy Relationships

There are many different types of relationships; business relationships, relationships between spouses, parents, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances. There are qualities inherent in healthy relationships regardless of the type. The same is true for unhealthy relationships.


Some are aware that relationships need to be tended to and nurtured. The effort is taken to show how much you value your relationship by being present and making some personal sacrifices so that the relationship can grow and flourish. Some are acutely aware of when the relationships take a turn and it is no longer healthy and personally fullfilling. Pediatric Stethoscope Review, A time and location are decided upon and a conversation happens where you express your concerns, thoughts and feelings and what you want and expect from the relationship. Adjustments are talked about and accepted, or not, and the relationship sets a new course.

Others don’t notice that a relationship is distorted and blurred and end up remaining in an unfulfilling relationship for days, weeks, years, and even decades before their rationale for staying in the relationship is questioned and they communicate what they want, what they need, and a plan on how to achieve that. Or, they ignore what they feel, remain hurt and confused, and rationalize why they should remain in an unhealthy and even toxic relationship. No matter how absurd or obtuse, in spite of the sorrow and loneliness that festers in their heart they remain.

It’s tragic really as choice has a lead role in relationships. One’s choice to be in a fulfilling, healthy and joyful relationship must be shrouded by other needs or desires (e.g., financial reason, “my son needs a father-figure in his life”). Or, perhaps it’s hard to tell the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship because a healthy relationship has never been truly experienced, sought after, or enjoyed.

Qualities of unhealthy relationships:
People often talk about unhealthy relationships as being lopsided and distorted in some way. Feeling controlled and hesitant to be honest about your thoughts and feelings for fear of some form of retribution. People in this situation will pretend to have beliefs and values to appease the other person instead of feeling free to express themselves openly and without reservation. The opposite for feeling free is feeling trapped; knowing that something bad might happen if you say or do something that the other person may not like. Along with feeling trapped comes feeling afraid, worried, sad, and angry. Have these feelings and experiences consistently over time, with out resolution, then you’re likely in an unhealthy relationship.

Qualities of healthy relationships:
There are a few qualities that are common in healthy relationships; respect, trust, honesty, and communication, not to mention loyalty and commitment. Individuals who are in healthy relationships want to learn about their partner and what they value are present and emotionally available to them, and openly share thoughts and feelings.

When these components are in place you feel good about yourself, feel comfortable sharing your opinions, feelings, and sensitive stories and memories, without the fear of being judged or ridiculed. Time shared is valued but you can also explore your own personal interests separate from the relationship. Those are the things that we bring back and share which brings new life to the evolving relationship. Have experiences and feelings like this consistently over time then you’re likely in a healthy relationship.

Feeling connected with someone is so important. I hope every one of you is involved in at least one healthy relationship in your life.  Please cherish and nurture what you share!

With Warmest Regards,

Dave Callies, Psy.D.
Chilr & Adolescent Psychologist
Gyro Psychology Services
866-616-GYRO (4976)

Health Disclaimer
Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.